I really miss everyone back in Singapore so much..

They are moving on and yet I am still stuck in my own foolishness I’d say..but I would rather be a fool.. because I love my friends too much.
And I shall continue this way… just find another way out..

It hearts…

My heart.

I have started anew..

www.Lyst-btix.blogspot.com

I shall do my best for VS for the Os I cannot just do that thing anymore. I am not special.

I have been shaken off path.

Campe Emerge was just as good as the trip. Special memories..

I wish that they will not forget me even though I have a stupid solid feeling in my heart that they will and they will move on and I may move on.. but right now I want to spend time with them. I want to spend this time together well so that atleast even if they forget me I know I have done thing with them. I will keep myself happy reminiscing the memories…

Or won’t that make me emotional? Whenevr I try to remember Olomouc trip, I always end up feeling so emo-ish.

Every shcool event also feel emo. Is it just me or do others feel it too? Is mine amplified since I keep getting bugged by the fact that I will be leaving SG where my only friends live..

Sigh. I won’t forget them even if they forget me. Just like how I remember Gabriel.

Met Gabriel yesterday and he didn’t have the HEY ASHWIN! kind of feeling anymore..really sad if I’m not even going to be in SG. Should be worse. Won’t talk also I think..

But I got my email to cheer me up on how strong friendships really are.

So I am going to keep this as an archive.Maybe..though I would want to update here once in awhile. I am so grateful to Myo for telling me that WordPress’ has such wonderful abilities of transferring posts…

Felt kinda emo today passing by Paya Lebar MRT Station. Talked alot of thing with Eugene.., reminsicing our past..and the wonderful overseas trips we had been to..ARGH!

I am not going to blog.

Fuck. I am not going to update my blog anymore since it does not help me set my thoughts straight… IT DOES NOT HELP ME UNLOAD BECAUSE I CAN’T PUT ANYTHING DOWN HERE. I AM NOT AN EXTROVERT.
LIFE SUCKS BUT I AM NOT GOING TO LOSE TO IT.

I don’t want betray others unintentionally. I don’t want to be the root of the problem. I don’t want to make my friends unhappy. I don’t want to make things worse. I don’t want to hurt any of my friends. I don’t want to leave any of my friends out. I don’t want to make anyone feel bad. I don’t want to suan my friends unintentionally. I don’t want to lose my friends

I am going to live by these words;

The future is for those who don’t give up
Never throw away good times for the bad times. They are 100 times more valueable than the rough times.
Winning is not everything.
Friends love their friends without trying at all.

www.ashwinthapa.blogspot.com

I AM leaving Singapore. 19 Days is all I have left.

I just know I would love to join Victoria Chorale.
The choral society in Singapore just sucks.
The singers are singing for the sake of beating other choirs and being better than them.
They are not singing for the sake of passion for singing.
They are not singing to share music.
They are not singing to make others feel happy.
They are singing to be the “BETTER” choir.

Well, many of the choirs in Singapore.

Maybe, I would want to conduct a choir. But I’ll have to take up music theory. I guess.

In Europe, its just so opposite. People just sing to share joy and music. They are so appreciative.
Singapore has no time for that. Everything is just..work work work work work work work work till death.

Well, most of them. I’m determined to not live a life like them.

My legs are hurting thanks to keeping a goal. Haha.

And one random thing, the people who update VSChoir blog now actually keep using bad grammar. >=E

When you walk down the road
Heavy burden, heavy load
I will rise and I will walk with you

When you walk through the night
And you feel like you wanna just give up, give up, give up on the fight
I will come and I will walk with you

Walk with you
Until the sun don’t even shine
Walk with you
I’ll be there all the time
I tell you I’ll walk with you
See you through

When you walk from this place
And you gotta go to meet Him face to face
Take my hand and I will walk with you

Oh, oh walk with you
Till the clouds fade away
I tell you I ‘ll walk with you
Each and every day
Oh yes I’ll walk with you

Oh, oh oh when nobody cares
I’ll be right there by your side
If all your hope is lost
I’m the one that’s gonna help you see the light
Just look into my eyes
Please know you’re not alone
I’m here, I’m here by your side

Walk with you
Walk with you
Walk with you
I’ll be there all the time, I’m gonna walk with you
Walk with you
I’ll be there until the clouds just fade away
Walk with you
I’ll be there every day, every day, every day, every day
Walk with you
I’ll be with you all the while
Walk with you
Be right there through the longest mile

Walk with you
I will walk with you yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, I will
Walk with you
I will walk with you
I tell you I’ll be there and I will
Walk with you
Believe me I’ll be there and I’ll walk with you, yes I will.

Swinging away.. I mean singing.

I guess giving up my vest and tie was the first step.

I hope it goes to someone who is passionate about choir. It has gone with me to Hong Kong, Malacca, Thailand and quite a number of European countries. It has experienced so many local and international ups and downs. It was there with me at the food court at the night of the SYF 2007 results. It also was there for all the speech days that I participated in. It was there with me for EMD, 131st dinner. Best dinner with my friends ever. Haha. It is so special to me. M34. Originally from Reuben ChenJOSHUA CHEAM. Experienced so much pumping together with me also.
Bye M34! See more countries with the next person!

Why I am fooling myself by giving myself false sense of hope?
Why do I want to do that?
I DON’T KNOW. I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT AND I AM GOING NUTS.
JUST LIKE WHY I DON’T KNOW WHY I LIKE GAZING AT STARS.

Maybe some questions do not have answers? I don’t know. I wish someone could tell me the answer already. So ironic.

I told someone to search for the answer himself because somethings can only be answered by one’s self. I have been searching for so long……..

I am almost giving up.

Wake up ASHWIN! U HAVE 20 POINTS TO SHAVE by AUGUST.
STOP THINKING ABOUT THOSE SILLY QUESTIONS!!!!!

icannotjuststopthinkingiamunabletodoitbecauseiamnotsomeonewhocanletgoofthingsveryeasilyiamnotinsensitive

Got so many questions, yet no answer.

I’ve been naiive.